Morning tea breaks, 2 hour lunch breaks, afternoon tea breaks - I have woke up and gone to heaven

I have now finished my seven week placement in general medicine and have this week, moved to general practice for seven weeks.

My first impressions are that, bloody hell this is a civilised profession - they have start times and finish times and tea breaks, where nice ladies on reception bring them tea (In china cup and saucer - result) They earn loadsamoney and only have to do a little bit of OOH cover. It seems to be the antithesis of hospital medicine and these doctors actually seem to have a life.

It is interesting then, that when I got together with my group today lots of them are hating their GP placement and can't wait to get back to acute care. They felt that most patients rolling through the door didn't need to come to see their GP (Minor skin rashes and ailments that are already getting better when they attend) They also felt that after a morning of seeing children with Hayfever, they wanted to climb out of the window and run to the hills (Or the nearest hospital)

Me, on the other hand LOVES it!! Well I would if I wasn't so terrified - I am absolutely bloody cacking it. I got so stressed on Tuesday that I had to nip outside to try to breath. The problem you see, is that on the wards, we are in groups of six / seven medical students and so when questions are asked, one of us can usually pipe up. In GP land however it is just me and the GP. There is nowhere to hide and it is butt clenchingly terrifying.

For example, a nice lady Mrs A brought her two children in this week. She had recognised that both of them had hayfever and she wanted a prescription for piriton so that she could leave and return her children to school. Instead, what she got was Anna the pale, shaking, medical student. This was the first visit that the GP told me to handle from beginning to end and hell, did I make a meal of it. She got asked about her kids' bladder and bowels (Commonly affected in hayfever....not) and about other "pertinent" points such as "Have they been abroad lately"

I made a mess - a real hellish mess. I know that if I had not had the GP sitting in the corner I would have been absolutely fine. I could easily have handled this, prescribed and sent them off to school. Instead, I went to pieces and I can just picture the mum pissing herself laughing to her mates about what this freak from Wales had been waffling on about.

I think that if I could find a way of developing my confidence, I would be half way there. I have spent my time at medical school feeling like an impostor and even now don't feel like a real medical student. I need to get me some ego!