Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Struggling to be selfish (Not me, some of my course mates)

For the first time this week, I have spoken to four people who are thinking of thowing the towel in and leaving the medical course - I am really gutted for them. They seemed to me to be flying through and looked like they would be brilliant doctors.

In my previous post, I said that I thought that you had to be extremely selfish to do my course and i think that this might be the problem for some of them - they are struggling to be selfish. I think they are finding being an older student (With responsibilities) impossible and just don't feel like they can become as selfish as they need to. It's so difficult when you are an older person with a partner, house, children etc. You need to ignore your responsibilites a lot of the time, just to keep up with the work and I understand their problem 100%. In my past life, I spent 100's of hours educating staff on achieving work life balance and can now see that it is easier said than done when the only way of keeping up with what you have done that day is to sit down for hours and hours.

The tough reality is that my family could do with me back in Wales so that I could help sort out my dads' situation and help my mum with the dogs. Being two hours away means that my mum is having to sort out a lot more of my dad's problems than she should have to (She has been divorced from him for 18 years!) and without her doing this, I wouldn't be able to stay on the course. What makes life so much easier for me is that my husband has given me the freedom to do the course. He would have been well within his rights to kick up a massive stink, but instead, he got a job down the road and went with the flow. We are still not living together but meet up in Tescos every Wednesday night (Hilarious I know)and then see each other all weekend.

Speaking to the people who are thinking of leaving has hit a nerve with me, because I am managing to be very selfish. I feel a bit guilty tonight because although I winge like a bugger most of the time, I have not thought of leaving the course - I just live with being selfish, which perhaps doesn't make me a terribly nice person.

Hmmmmm.

2 comments:

Merys said...

Anna, I know exactly how you feel. I'm selfish with medicine, but I've seriously considered throwing in the towel - I just get so frustrated at the 18 year old's and their lazy arrogance.

Stick with it or get in touch!

Anonymous said...

I think that any student who has not thought of quitting medicine is the sort of careerist psychopath who should not be allowed to continue in training.

It may be different for someone with a background in nursing, but for most medical students the confrontation with life, death suffering and irrelevent biochemistry is a potent mix.

Combine this with being away from home, drinking to much, watching other young people enjoy life and no longer being the smartest one in the class and the mix gets to be toxic.

Its twenty years since I felt like that, though I went through a similar black period as SHO. I am now a consultant in Leicester and now love my job, though hate Patsy halfwit and her cronies.

About Me

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I knew I wanted to study medicine from 5 minutes into my nurse training in 1992. This didn't go down too well with my peers but it has taken me eleven years to get my life in a place where I could apply to medical school, so I have paid my nursing dues! I was lucky enough to get two offers. I have been married for seven years to an ex footballer who is now a PE teacher. We have no plans for babies but I would love more King Charles Spaniels. I start medicine on September 20th 2006 and am absolutely petrified.