Thursday, March 26, 2009

Fannies, Foufs and Va J Js

....These are just some of the names that my patients have today used to describe their vaginas.

The dilemma I have is that, according to the bloody hours and hours we have spent on communication skills over the years (My medical school prides itself on turning out docs that can speak to patients), we are supposed to use words that the patients use to discuss their condition.

In some situations this is fine, for example :

Patient : Hello, I have a pain in my belly and have been throwing up for days.
Me: OK Mr Jones please can you tell me more about this pain in your belly....

It's a bit different in gynae:

Patient: "I have a lump in my fouf"
Me: "Ok then, when did you notice this pain in your fouf?"

Surely not!!!

Seriously though, I am enjoying obs and gynae. That may be a simple statement to you, but after years of hell, it is so strange to now be able to say that I am enjoying the course. I think I have also mentioned in previous posts that I am waiting for the stage when I am no longer shocked about having to do intimate examinations. I have spent my first two weeks in gynae like a rabbit in the headlights as I take a history from a lady, knowing that I then going to be examining her.

To tell you the bad bits (And it doesn't get much worse) during my first examination the speculum broke in half in situ. Both me and the patient were mortified. The consultant reassured me that this sometimes happens with the plastic speculums but I think she was trying to make me feel better. I managed to view the cervix - have never seen one before!

To get further examining experience, we have had to speak to ladies who are about to have gynae surgery to ask them if it is OK if we examine them once they are under anaesthetic. I am amazed at them all allowing us to do this - they have been brilliant with us. I also think it is really good for patients to know that students don't have carte blanche to examine them without their consent - if they don't consent then we don't go anywhere near them and this is reassuring, I think.

Gynae surgery has been an eye opener. I saw a lady having her fibroid removed through her cervix and couldn't believe how big it was - makes you realise how these women have difficulties getting pregnant. The fibroids I saw took uo most of the uterus so no room for a baby!

Ah well, back to the land of foufs


Darkside said...

"When did you notice this pain in your fouf?" Hah, Love it!

Glad to hear you are having a good time on this block - and many congrats on those exams! :D

lawminx said...

As a Midwife, I frequently heard all sorts of strange names for the vagina including Front Bottom, Lady Garden, Booshie, Fouffie La Ming, Pinkie, Down Below and That Place. Responding with a straight face is quite the trick!

Obs and Gynae is rollocking good fun, isnt it? and as to fibroids, well, perhaps we should indulge in fishermens tales as to the size of said problem - as in " Really it was THIS big!

I once encountered a very drol consultant gynaecologist who often joked that he had seen fibroids so large that rather than removing the fibroid from the patient, the patient had to be removed from the fibroid......!

Nurse To Doc said...

Hiys Lawminx!

Fouffie La Ming

OMG - that is just the best one ever!

Law Minx said...

Isn't it just? what was WORSE is that Ms Fouffie La Ming was ALWAYS referred to in the third person as in " I suspect Fouffie La Ming will not be at ALL happy about that ( examination)"!
Dont cha just LOVE patients?!?!-

Medic4ISI said...

thanks for ur comment, not sure where to respond to that!
i have been following your posts for ages, as I enjoy reading all your input and it relates to me in many aspects.. just figured out how to add yesterday :)

you making me look forward to my senior rotations!!!

keep up xxx

lifeasamedicalstudent said...

Foufs and fannies...ah what we younger students have to look forward to, thanks for the laugh.

Dragonfly said...

Wow...whatever it was in that picture, it looked sort of like it should be on Doctor Who, except, X rated..

W.F. said...

seriously im still cracking up! gyn/ob is a terrific field! had a patient who asked me if i would like to have coffee with her while i was exmining her fouf. if thats not enough how about a patient who was telling me what she would cook if we had a first date during a rectal exam. bn appetite! keep up the great blog!

About Me

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I knew I wanted to study medicine from 5 minutes into my nurse training in 1992. This didn't go down too well with my peers but it has taken me eleven years to get my life in a place where I could apply to medical school, so I have paid my nursing dues! I was lucky enough to get two offers. I have been married for seven years to an ex footballer who is now a PE teacher. We have no plans for babies but I would love more King Charles Spaniels. I start medicine on September 20th 2006 and am absolutely petrified.